


Machines don’t think, they obey.

by QueenHades



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Implied Memory Alteration, Loss of Identity, Memory Loss, Mission Fic, Past Brainwashing, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-TWS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2020230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHades/pseuds/QueenHades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier is The Asset.<br/>He is The Asset and The Asset does as he is told.<br/>The Asset does not have feelings or memories.</p><p>A short drabble fic about The Winter Soldier, pre CA:TWS, struggling with memories and conflicting thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Machines don’t think, they obey.

 

When he is woken up, he always remembers his training.

He remembers how to kill a person. He can use a bare hand, or a metal hand, or a pencil sharpener, or a cup of water. He knows hundreds of different weapons, and thousands of ways to use them, to reach a goal and to eliminate a Target. He understands the best ways to hit a Target and how to get rid of them.  Fighting and blood and pain are what The Winter Soldier knows.   
He is The Asset and The Asset does as he is told.

When he is out on a mission for a long time, he sometimes remembers other things too.

Occasionally, he remembers a person –a Target, not a person, – but it’s never much. He remembers a fleeting glimpse of a face, or a shadow of a swift attack, or the voice of someone begging for mercy. It does not happen often, but when it does he does not dwell on it. It’s not important and is not relevant to his current mission, therefore he does not think about it. He plans his next move, or listens to his next command. He does as he is told. When his mission is completed he returns to base, reports to his handlers, and then is reset before put on ice, ready for when The Winter Soldier is needed once again.  
  
On his next mission, he is lying on a cool rooftop, body poised silent and ready, with his finger on the trigger of his sniper. Inhaling steadily and quietly, the scent of the gun metal catches his nose.  
Something flickers at the edge of his mind, he remembers the cool tang of metal against his skin and the familiar copper bite of blood in his mouth. It was a mission, but it was different to other missions. The blood, usually from his Target, was his own instead.  The metal was a blade his Target had buried in his side. The face of the Target had looked familiar to him, a man with light hair and deep eyes, and it made him pause and hesitate, but the moment quickly disappeared as the knife entered his side.  
Mission failed, Target escaped, and _damn_ it hu-  
  
_No._  
  
Do not think about it. It’s not important. Not relevant.  
He is The Asset. He does not have feelings, or memories. He is Their Asset.  
Shifting slightly peering down the scope, he refocuses and looks to see if his Target has arrived. It hasn't.  
He is not supposed to remember. He obeys.  He does as he is told.  
He remembers how he is punished for his failure, for what seems like days, before he is asked why he failed. Why for the first time in fifteen years, The Winter Soldier failed a simple kill-and-run mission. When he told the handlers how the Target seemed familiar, how the light hair and the blue eyes has reminded him of…of… _something_ … _someone._ They exchanged looks and low muttered words. He is put in the machine and wiped, and then wiped again, before being put back in the cryo chamber.  
He didn’t remember what had happened when he woke up again for his next mission, but he is told that he had failed. He had failed but HYDRA fixed him, because he is The Asset.  
  
_He does not have feelings, or memories. He is Their Asset._  
  
He is jolted out of his thoughts at the appearance of a vehicle on the otherwise empty road.  
  
_He is The Asset._  
  
A glance down the scope he confirms the Target is correct, the face of the driver and passenger matching the pictures from the file he was shown at the beginning of the mission.  
  
_He does not have feelings, or memories._  
  
He does not think, he obeys.  
  
_He is Their Asset._  
  
This mission, he didn’t fail.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Just a quick note to say thankyou for reading. I wasn't to sure of this, and looking back over it I still don't like it, but I posted it anyway and I really would love to know what you thought. Even if it's just a short sentence the feedback would be much appreciated, and tips on how to improve my work even more so.  
> 


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